I read a copy of the flyer for this "Compton Cookout" as part of a note on Facebook the other day, then today I came across this, and now I'm obligated to say a few things. Let me first say this: racism does not shock me. In fact, anyone that thought our President being black was going to make the racism issue better instead of worse is probably not as aware (or honest with themselves) about the society we all live in.
When I peruse news articles online, I'm always most intrigued with, and entertained by, the comments users leave with the end. It is in these little tidbits that you find out exactly what people think about just about everything. The comments at the end of this particular article invoke first amendment rights, of which I am a champion since my bread and butter is protected therein, and indicate that people clearly do not know what Black History Month is about. I do not refer to it as African American Heritage month because I do not refer to myself as African American. I'm black and a little militant. Don't get me started.
Anyhow, from what I understand, Black History Month has always been about us educating one another about the milestones our people reached and surpassed. How many of you remember being in the Black History Month assembly as a kid? Did you play Rosa Parks on the bus? Or Martin Luther King, Jr. marching in the streets? Black History Month is supposed to be about us and for us -- with the information, enthusiasm and pride being provided by us, because lawd knows we've digested more than enough of what everyone else thinks of us. We spend 11 months out of the year being inundated with information about each and every other culture and ethnicity, so it only makes sense that we at least use 28 consecutive days to toss around some facts and figures about our own selves. Right? Personally, I think we should be researching and discussing this information 365 days a year, but, as I said earlier, I'm a little militant.
When I read about these kinds of shenanigans, I'm always a wee bit amused. The invitation that circulated on Facebook didn't even have the correct spelling for Kool Aid, for goodness sakes. How can I take your insult seriously? When I look at everything I know for a fact has come out of Compton (my own mother, for example, not to mention those Venus and Serena girls), I can't muster up enough umph to be angry at the caricatures white frat boys found amusing "in honor of black history month." This is not their heritage. These are not their people. They don't have any real reason to be proud. They shouldn't be expected to find the value in something we don't believe is a joke. Black History Month is not for them.
In reality, most of the pride is gone on our end. In general, one should expect to be respected once respect is given. But when a group of people continue to express how much they do not respect you, your group of people or anything you stand for it's time to stop reaching out. Anybody remember this?
I'm not saying it's wrong to be upset. I'm saying stop expecting something different from a group of people that continues to show you exactly who they are and exactly what they are about. White frat boys aren't always going to understand you. They don't have to.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
On John Mayer...
Okay, I should preface this post by saying I don't particularly listen to John Mayer or care about who he is. As a matter of fact, the entire situation would have flown well below my radar had it not been for my kid sister pining away for him to maybe one day acknowledge her existence as his most loyal follower on Twitter. She swears she is in love. Imagine my surpise, then, when this comes out within two weeks of said sister professing her undying love, affections and other attachments to this character. Sheesh. What am I supposed to do?!?!
Just to get it out of the way, I'm going to throw this question out there. Why don't folks know that "hood passes" are as quickly and as easily revoked as they are given out? Furthermore, those passes are only as good as the person that issued them. Why are folks so hype to be an "honorary black man" anyway? Black men reportedly get pulled over without cause, incarcerated at a higher rate and suffer the types of injustices I can only hope to never experience. It's not really a badge of honor to be able to tap into "black swag" and excuse yourself from the very real black burden. I'm a HUGE Jay Z fan, but him cosiging John Mayer at any point in time did not make dude any more or less attractive in my eyes. Apparently my sister didn't get that memo, though.
I don't know if she's up on the frenzy fueled by this article, but I know it's my job to guide her in a better direction. I can't say I'm offended, because, like I said, I don't find John Mayer attractive or acknowledge his existence much, but I can say I have a vested interest in building self esteem in young women of color.
I'm just about tired of the "black women are unattractive" weight piling up on our shoulders. Every month I read something about how black women are painfully single or black men are SO over black women and are exploring other ethnicities or black women are at the bottom of everybody's "To Do" list, even the white boys. I simply do not buy it. If it helps the rest of society feel better about themselves to continuously point out how undesireable black women are, more power to you good folks. I don't have the time or the patience to sit steeped in notions that are clearly contrary to what I see with my own two eyes.
Of course, at this point I could launch into the various topics of wearing relaxers and weaves or contacts and things like that in the effort to attain a beauty standard that is completely the opposite of black beauty. Instead, I look at the existence of tanning salons and "booty pop panties" and I just want my sister to know, in all her beautiful blackness, she does not need John Mayer to find her attractive if she is okay with who she sees in the mirror every day.
That man and his apparently racist genitalia have a right to their separate but equal preferences, and there really isn't much anybody can do about that. Nor should anybody really care. Mind your business! But do start putting more of your energy into loving you so it won't be devastating, or even mildly upsetting, when the rest of the world insists on trying to convince themselves they're better than you are.
Just to get it out of the way, I'm going to throw this question out there. Why don't folks know that "hood passes" are as quickly and as easily revoked as they are given out? Furthermore, those passes are only as good as the person that issued them. Why are folks so hype to be an "honorary black man" anyway? Black men reportedly get pulled over without cause, incarcerated at a higher rate and suffer the types of injustices I can only hope to never experience. It's not really a badge of honor to be able to tap into "black swag" and excuse yourself from the very real black burden. I'm a HUGE Jay Z fan, but him cosiging John Mayer at any point in time did not make dude any more or less attractive in my eyes. Apparently my sister didn't get that memo, though.
I don't know if she's up on the frenzy fueled by this article, but I know it's my job to guide her in a better direction. I can't say I'm offended, because, like I said, I don't find John Mayer attractive or acknowledge his existence much, but I can say I have a vested interest in building self esteem in young women of color.
I'm just about tired of the "black women are unattractive" weight piling up on our shoulders. Every month I read something about how black women are painfully single or black men are SO over black women and are exploring other ethnicities or black women are at the bottom of everybody's "To Do" list, even the white boys. I simply do not buy it. If it helps the rest of society feel better about themselves to continuously point out how undesireable black women are, more power to you good folks. I don't have the time or the patience to sit steeped in notions that are clearly contrary to what I see with my own two eyes.
Of course, at this point I could launch into the various topics of wearing relaxers and weaves or contacts and things like that in the effort to attain a beauty standard that is completely the opposite of black beauty. Instead, I look at the existence of tanning salons and "booty pop panties" and I just want my sister to know, in all her beautiful blackness, she does not need John Mayer to find her attractive if she is okay with who she sees in the mirror every day.
That man and his apparently racist genitalia have a right to their separate but equal preferences, and there really isn't much anybody can do about that. Nor should anybody really care. Mind your business! But do start putting more of your energy into loving you so it won't be devastating, or even mildly upsetting, when the rest of the world insists on trying to convince themselves they're better than you are.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
So, which are you?
I looked at this and started thinking -- first about that old Next song that found itself stuck in everyone's head around my way, and second about how happily women cling to the term "wifey" and how selectively *cough* men sling it around. Personally, I've never been particularly moved by titles, and especially not the title "wifey," but that might be because I'm not a 19-year-old.
The slideshow, which appears on Essence.com, illustrates the difference between a wife and a wifey, likening the difference to that between renting and owning. That's big. Without completely ripping off every single item in the slideshow, I will say this: renting is supposed to be temporary while owning, by definition, is a bit more permanent -- even in this economic climate and with the dismal state of marriage and divorce rates in this country.
When we rent, our landlord remains responsible for most of the incidentals: you don't have to call a plumber or an electrician, in theory, you just hit up the folks who collect the rent and have them send over a Mr. Fix-It and move on with your day. Does this mean when you're wifey someone other than your man supposed to be taking care of your incidentals? And they wonder why we keep a freak on standby most of the time.
When you own, you're coming out of your pockets for things as simple as having trash removed from your property to having running water. Are you really ready for that? In case my analogy lost you, the general idea is that having a wifey isn't nearly as big a responsibility as having a wife is. Not that women are property or anything, but that's not the point that struck me the most anyway, so we'll move on.
Several guys weighed in on the topic, and one said a man who has a wifey -- not a wife -- is basically undervaluing what that woman is probably worth. Well, now we're getting to the good stuff. At first I thought this was a nice way of saying "men throw scraps and women keep happily settling," but now I'm starting to think of the term "wifey" as the proverbial "he's just afraid of commitment" phase, which means the issue is not just men who are throwing scraps it's also women who are making excuses. It's always good, albeit not always easy, to know what you're worth, but how far are we each going to really evaluate that? And once you know, what do you do?
After going through that slideshow, I came to the conclusion that "wifey" is a title a man gives his girlfriend when he doesn't want to hear her mouth about a ring or anything "extra," and as a bonus, said girlfriend, while swearing her title is just as good as that of a Mrs., works even harder toward promotion from "wifey" status. What a wonderful world.
While marriage is not for every man and woman, pretty much everyone wants to be taken seriously at some point, right? So, are you for rent or for sale?
The slideshow, which appears on Essence.com, illustrates the difference between a wife and a wifey, likening the difference to that between renting and owning. That's big. Without completely ripping off every single item in the slideshow, I will say this: renting is supposed to be temporary while owning, by definition, is a bit more permanent -- even in this economic climate and with the dismal state of marriage and divorce rates in this country.
When we rent, our landlord remains responsible for most of the incidentals: you don't have to call a plumber or an electrician, in theory, you just hit up the folks who collect the rent and have them send over a Mr. Fix-It and move on with your day. Does this mean when you're wifey someone other than your man supposed to be taking care of your incidentals? And they wonder why we keep a freak on standby most of the time.
When you own, you're coming out of your pockets for things as simple as having trash removed from your property to having running water. Are you really ready for that? In case my analogy lost you, the general idea is that having a wifey isn't nearly as big a responsibility as having a wife is. Not that women are property or anything, but that's not the point that struck me the most anyway, so we'll move on.
Several guys weighed in on the topic, and one said a man who has a wifey -- not a wife -- is basically undervaluing what that woman is probably worth. Well, now we're getting to the good stuff. At first I thought this was a nice way of saying "men throw scraps and women keep happily settling," but now I'm starting to think of the term "wifey" as the proverbial "he's just afraid of commitment" phase, which means the issue is not just men who are throwing scraps it's also women who are making excuses. It's always good, albeit not always easy, to know what you're worth, but how far are we each going to really evaluate that? And once you know, what do you do?
After going through that slideshow, I came to the conclusion that "wifey" is a title a man gives his girlfriend when he doesn't want to hear her mouth about a ring or anything "extra," and as a bonus, said girlfriend, while swearing her title is just as good as that of a Mrs., works even harder toward promotion from "wifey" status. What a wonderful world.
While marriage is not for every man and woman, pretty much everyone wants to be taken seriously at some point, right? So, are you for rent or for sale?
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